IF I WAS THE PRIEST


Well there's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl over by the water fountain
And she's asking to be mine
And ain't that Jesus, he's standing in the doorway
With a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs, so really fine
He says "We need you up in Dodge City, son
'Cause there's oh so many bad boys (just too many outlaw)
Tryin' to work the same line"

Well now if Jesus was the sheriff and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
Oh and Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There's still too many outlaws
Tryin' to work the same line

Now old sweet Virgin Mary
She runs the Holy Grail saloon
Where for a nickel they'll give you whisky
And the personally blessed balloon
And the Holy Ghost, he's the host with the most
He runs the burlesque show
Where they let you in for free
But oh hit you for your soul when you go
And Mary serves Mass on Sunday
And then she sells her body on Monday
To the bootlegger who will pay the highest price
But he don't know he got stuck with a loser
Mary's a stone junkie, what's more she's a boozer
And she's only been made once or twice
By some kind of magic

Well things ain't been the same in Heaven
Ever since big bad Bobby came to town
He's been known to down eleven
And then ask for another round
And me I got scabs on my knees
>From kneeling way too long
I gotta take a stand, be the man, up where you belong
And forget about the old friends and the old times
Because there's just too many new boys
Tryin' to work the same line

Well now if Jesus was the sheriff and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my mama was a thief
Oh and Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys
Tryin' to work the same line

Now there's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl by the water fountain
And she's asking to be mine
And Jesus, he's standing in the doorway
With his six-guns drawn, and ready to fan
He says "We need you son, up in Dodge City"
But I'm already overdue in Cheyenne

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